Back Next Tuesday

Quick post to let you know that I will be traveling to Oregon tonight for Easter. I'll be back bloggin' on Tuesday. Sorry there was no post today, but I caught a nasty little malware that has stymied my blogging efforts until just now. And I've got a train to catch. Til Tuesday!

9th Degree

Sesion Golfa

Sorry about the delay in posting, it took me about a day to realize Comer Con Lilawas a dead site.

This blog makes me feel like: People in Spain are WAY too obsessed with American entertainment.

Another Spanish blog, another blog obsessing with American films. I think this makes me yearn for the olden days, before movies. I'd love to see someone dub or caption a theatrical performance.

That's all I have to say about that blog. I'd much rather focus on Comer Con Lila, because this introduced me to the coolest tool ever...Google Translator! This has to be one of the most entertaining web utilities I have ever seen. I love the authentic "Broken English" translation power. Check out these memorable quotes:

"What is the luxury? it is to buy a branch of fresh flowers in the boulevard of Barcelona, to escape a labor morning to give a stroll touched by the sun of the winter, is a bath of bubbles with your lover, to always have French mustard in the refrigerator and to perfume your favorite jersey with the subtle [essence] of chanel 5."

"If, we are fully urban, sibaritas, beings of the street, addict to the march, the trembling rate of the large cities, but sometimes, only when it is worth the trouble, we have our affairs with green mountains, the bucólicos small villages and the Hispanic fauna… we played Heidi."

I liked this idea so much that you can now translate my page to Spanish... I hope it comes out just as bad!

Back to the task at hand, I am going to http://elhilodepenelope.blogspot.com. My new translation skills tell me this is "The thread of Penelope". Sounds... Spanish. *sigh*

Sesion Golfa in one quote: "Peter Griffin es una bola de manteca despreciable y egoísta. Vive con su abnegada mujer, una hija adolescente con las hormonas disparadas, un hijo en la edad del pavo con el coeficiente intelectual de una gamba, un bebé maligno que sólo piensa en matar a su madre y habla como un literato, y un cínico perro parlante que es alcohólico."

Sesion Golfa in one quote (Google Translator version): "Peter Griffin is a despicable and egoistic butter ball. He lives with his self-sacrificing woman, an adolescent daughter with shot hormones, a son in the age of the turkey with the intellectual coefficient of a prawn, a malignant baby who think about killing his mother and only speak like a literato, and a cynical dog talking that is alcoholic."

8th Degree

Urban Sound System

This blog makes me feel like: the Thai hooker I got wasn't really a "she".

DAMNIT! Give me a break here! When I click on a link called Urban Sound System, I expect an English website!!! I didn't click on "Sistema de Sonido Urbano," did I? DID I !?!?!?!?

Ok, that's done. I'm better now. So anyways, it looks to me like this site covers indie bands. And "The Cure". Which was kind of an indie band in the 80s. Which explains Europe's fascination for this.

At least I have the honor of being the first commenter on this rather new site. Check them out if you speak the Spanish. Let me know how "The Cure" rates!.

Moving on, I decided I have had enough of the Spanish Independent Rock scene, so I'm moving on to the Spanish cuisine scene with Comer Con Lila. Yippee! April 3rd editor's note: Comer Con Lila turned out to be a "dead end" blog (No links to other blogs). So I'm off to Sesion Golfa instead.

On other topics, you may have noticed that a rather rude inbred shemale named Floyd has been leaving comments. You have to realize that Floyd is a cross between Rush Limbaugh and a thirteen year old delinquent who beats homeless people and peeps on his sister. To call Floyd useless would be an insult to the word "useless". While I could simply block Floyd and remove his comments, I believe everyone has a right to voice their opinions, even Floyd. If you wish to insult your eyes and affront your brain, you can check out his site here. Warning! Extreme language and nudity are the norm for this pit of excrement Floyd calls a site. And I'm not talking about the "Mountain Dew" type of "Extreme".

Urban Sound Machine's blog in one quote: Por motivos que no vienen al caso, esta es la mía: "Lovesong", The Cure. Disfrútenla.

7th Degree

Nacho Vegas a Eurovisión

This site makes me feel: like hating Nash!!!!!

Yes, I'm still stuck in Spanish blogs. But, I'm actually enjoying it. I like guessing what's going on. It's like trying to guess what someone is thinking. And never getting an answer.

So here's my take on Nacho Vegas a Eurovisión. From what I can tell, this is a band. And this band hates some guy named Nash. I think they were in a Eurovision style battle of the bands with Nash, and they lost. And for some unexplained reason, this really pisses me off. I refused to go to any of the links for videos or music on this page because I want to live in my own little world where Nacho Vegas rocks.

I also learned that Nacho Vigalondo is some sort of interviewing guy, along with being a director. I think.

I wish you could have seen my eyes when I looked at this page. It is a link-a-palooza! Links to blogs everywhere. Thousands of links! And I poured over every single one of them. And finally, after I had almost given up hope, I found one link to a blog that looked like it would take me to an English speaking site. Urban Sound System. From comics to music, from America to Spain... I am nowhere near finding my buddy Tim's blog. Thankfully, I should be back to blogs I can understand...

Nacho's blog in one quote: También pueden enviar un correo electrónico de concienciación entre sus allegados y congéneres y no descartamos realizar alguna acción de boicot contra Nash.

All I see in that sentence above is "boycott Nash!".

6th Degree

Nacho Vigalondo

This blog makes me feel: like I can almost figure out what's going on.

Holy Kevin Bacon, Batman. Ok, I'm done with the obvious now.

Ready for another adventure of "Mr. Duster goes to Spain?"

Actually, I think I can pretty much figure out what's going on with Nacho's blog. From the looks of the pictures and the use of English words such as "Lost", as well as the use of English numbers, such as "24", I think I have found the blog of a Spaniard reviewing American entertainment.

If I am correct in my assumption, it makes me sad to know that there are simply not enough blogs in English dedicated to following Spanish entertainment. I mean, in the six blogs I've read, not one has a review of Telemundo.

Of course, I could be wrong about what this page is all about, as you can tell by clicking here.

I was sincerely hoping that Nacho would offer me a portal back to an English blog, but alas, my search was futile. So I figured I would head to blog where I at least understood all the words in the title. I am off to Nacho Vegas a Eurovisión

Nacho's blog in one quote: En Jackie Brown, el Blacksplotation, en Kill Bill, el cine oriental de consumo, así, a saco.

I can almost understand half of those words! I rock at Spanish! Or should I say, "Mi rocko en Español!"

Added 3/29/07(3:24 P.M.)-- Turns out Nacho Vigalondo is an Oscar nominated director. Check out his nominated short film here. God, I feel culturally retarded.

5th Degree

Transpop

This blog makes me feel: Muy caliente!!!

Well, now, this isn't as bad as I thought! Do I understand one word of this blog? Hell no! Luckily, there is one thing that transcends the language barrier: pictures of Paulina Rubio. Now don't get me wrong; these pictures aren't that exciting. But, man, when you've got to scroll through page after page of Spanish gibberish, an occasional picture of a scantly clad woman is a nice respite.

I thought about trying to learn Spanish by jumping from thingpart's blog to this one, which features thingpart's comics, but that just sounded like too much work. I did learn a few things, though:

1. If you make an internet comic, someone will translate it into Spanish.
2. You can get bottlenecked in Barcelona, too!

That's right! I only found one link to another blog on Transpop's blog, too. Oh, and I don't think it's taking me back to the states. We are off to visit the blog of one Nacho Vigalondo. If I keep getting bottlenecked, I'm going to end up on a "Terror Watch" list. "Seriously, officer. I didn't know Nacho was a Basque Separatist!"

Transpop's blog in one quote "“Como un juguete , que choca contra un murosalgo a encontrarte y me pierdo en cuanto buscouna oportunidad, un milagro o un hechizovolverme guapa y tu guapo conmigo”

Yeah, I've got no idea what that means.

4th Degree

thingpart

This blog makes me feel: like I am lost in a three panelled world.

The fourth blog I've visited... and the fourth blog featuring comic strips. I seem to be in a rut. However, I must say that thingpart's comics are more to my taste then Shanon's. Not a knock against Too Much Coffee Man, just an opinion.

I was thinking that thingpart's blog was going to be another dead end blog, however, it turned out much worse. There is only one link to another blog on thingpart's blog, thus forcing my hand to go to this blog. I'm going to refer to this as "bottlenecking". What blog am I off too? Transpop's . "An art collective in Barcelona."

Let me tell you about me and the Spanish Language. The last time I took a class in Spanish was twelve years ago, and I got a "D".

This brings all types of worries to my mind. Mainly: How the hell am I going to get back to a blog I can read? Think about it. How many blogs do you know of that link to Spanish sites? Um... thingpart's is the first to come to mind. So, how many Spanish blogs are going to link to an English counterpart? I best brush up on my Español. And figure out how to use "~" without copying and pasting.

thingpart's blog in one quote: "Did I mention that Thingpart is now available en Español?"

benomatic

benomatic's blog.

This blog makes me feel: Like I've reached an important milestone.

Oh, go ahead and click this puppy. You'll get a whole lot of nothing. My first "dead" blog. It's like my first kiss, only... no! There will be no "only!" There is no way to metaphorically link my first kiss to finding a dead blog. I will not be that guy.

So, it was back to Shanon Wheeler's blog. That's the way I'm a gonna play this game. This time, I'm going for thingpart's blog. He get's rave reviews from Shanon. An exciting excerpt: "also, check out, and ad thingpart. He rocks." Shanon, I can't be held responsible for your spelling. Or mine. Proofreading is for losers.

(Note: Dead blogs will not effect my degrees of bloggeration title. Thus why I am still on "3 degrees".)

3rd Degree

Shanon Wheeler's blog

This blog makes me feel: self-reflective.

Something about Shanon Wheeler reminds me of... me. I mean, here is a guy who is hailed as a great cartoonist by many people. People genuinely like his "Too Much Coffee Man" cartoons. Apparently he's good.

Not that I would know. I perused his blog for a good long time, and I think I read about one cartoon. I was much more fascinated about how bad Valentine's day sucked for him.

I could probably go on a rant about how this is the result of the dumbing down of entertainment... how I am the product of the "Reality TV Generation" and that I can't appreciate true entertainment. And I wouldn't want to do that because, when ranting, one generally wants to include themselves on the "back when things were good" side of the rant, rather then make bold statements like, "I am the problem!"

Instead, I'll veer towards the fact that I can relate to Shanon more on a personal level then on a cartoonistic level. For one, I can't draw a stick figure that doesn't look like it rides a short bus, so art is often times lost on me. But I can appreciate a guy who gets bummed when a Hallmark Holiday comes around that seems to exist solely to remind us that all of our friends are eating fondue and getting laid later. My advice to Shanon: drink it off. The agony of a wicked hangover wears off quicker then the memories of hugging that teddy bear you won at the fair and crying softly while listening to "Air Supply".

Completely shifting gears, I am slowly becoming a connoisseur of blogs. Well, if blogs are like wine, I can now tell the difference between a chardonnay and a merlot. From a blogisseuer's perspective, I like those handy histories that a lot of blogs have. That way, you can read a blog from it's onset. Shanon's blog has the "previous" post button, so it's like watching this weeks episode of "Heroes" and working backwards. Extremely disconcerting.

Finally, I would like to apologize for the irregular postings of this blog... I figured out that it helps to have internet access outside of work! Just one of those obvious statements that makes me realize I'm not nearly as clever as I think.

From Shannon's blog, I am taking a leap of faith and venturing to benomatic's blog. This is all I know about benomatic:

A. It sounds like his name might be Ben.

B. According to Shannon: "thanks again to benomatic for baby-walking me through this thing and tell him to update his journal."

I feel the need to tell benomatic to update his journal.

Shanon's blog in one quote: "I'm about to open a second bottle of wine and sing karaoke...."

2nd Degree

The Silent Penultimate Panel Watch

This blog makes me feel: Inspired

Alright, I will admit: this was actually the blog that inspired me to start my Journey through the blogs of the world. Something about Mr. Gill's steadfast dedication to something so... mind blowingly odd... was fascinating. Thus, I decided to create this blog based on this one great blog to blog experience.

Gill tracks comic strips in which the second to last panel is silent for comic timing. I caught this blog right at it's end, as Gill is now tracking the use of the term "rock star" being used in the media. I think this is how I like to catch blogs. It's like renting all the seasons of Laguna Beach on DVD and watching them straight through. When will LC learn...

Anyways, this blog is fascinating, and I do suggest at least a visit. Turns out, one comic actually added a penultimate silent panel just to see if it would catch the attention of Gill. I thought that was nice, so I am jumping ship to my next blog, To Much Coffee Mans' creator Shanon Wheeler's blog. And thus the Journey continues...

Steve's blog in one quote: "If a lazy gag points out the fact that it is a lazy gag, is it still a lazy gag?"

1st Degree

Slumbering Lungfish

This blog makes me feel: like peeing my pants.

I had to start my Journey somewhere; why not with the first blog I ever read? I happened upon Lore's work by, off all nerdy pursuits, reading PC Magazine. At the age of 22. It mentioned The Brunching Shuttlecocks as a great site for random funniness. Now defunct, Lore was a member of the Shuttlecocks, and the site was indeed frickin hilarious. From there, I explored more of Lore's work. I can actually say I have read every entry of The Book of Ratings, in which Lore rates things from "Breakfast Cereals" to "He-Man Characters" on a classic "A" to "F" grading scale. Pure genius. It's one of those ideas you look at and say, "Damn! I wish I had thought of that!"

Thus, Lore is the 1st Degree of Bloggeration. For every blog I visit, there will be another degree. From his page, I chose to move on to Silent Penultimate Panel Watch. Lore describes the author, Matt Gill, as "oddly compelling". I hope one day, this blog is described as "oddly compelling". Or at least not "the maggot infested interior of a broken man's soul". That would not be good.

Lore's Blog in one quote: "I guess I won’t be there, although I wouldn’t rule out a wacky scheme involving sneaking in the back door dressed as a pastry chef."

Thus, the Journey begins

How did this epic Journey come to be, you ask? Well, I have not been a big fan of blogs, but I do every so often visit my buddy Tim's. I also have been a faithful reader of Lore Sjoberg's blog. From Lore's blog, I clicked on a link to another blog, by Matt Gill. Somewhere is there, I started thinking of how cliche it would be to write a blog about blogs, and how I would do it "differently". So I decided to make this into a Journey. I like to capitalize Journey because it reminds me that Steve Perry rocks! And just so you know, he is no longer with the band...

I have set some ground rules for myself. First off, I am telling no one about this blog except for the owners of the blogs I visit. Also, I will only move from blog to blog via links on the blog. I expect to run into some dead-ends. If this is the case, I will back up to the most recent blog with multiple links and try again.

For every blog I visit, I will give a breif synopsis, plus how that blog makes me feel. I won't judge others by rating their blogs, but I will give my opinion. Which, in essence, means I will be judging. To start things off...